If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
