Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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