Your dad touched me again.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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