wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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