the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
