that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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