i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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