He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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