when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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