I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
