the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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