bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
