I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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