My friends, they love my intelligence
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
