they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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