i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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