It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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