My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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