I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
