just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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