You're completely useless in the revolution.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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