i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
