im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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