porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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