I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
