I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize