He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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