I wish I could punch you in the face.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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