i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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