eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
