NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm sobbing to NWA
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
