But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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