I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
