I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
