Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
