Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
