i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
