We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
