Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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