I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
