Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I need a beard to bite.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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