I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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