you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
