In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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