how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
