You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
