i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
