yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
