i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
