So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
